The Wedding Cake

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Flickr / Jon Collier / Wedding Cake / Taken on June 23, 2012

So you are thinking about marrying your significant other? There are many steps that follow this decision. You must make a decision about who to invite, what church to have the ceremony at, when to have the wedding, how much food to get, and whether to change your last name. Hold on a second, shouldn’t the bride always take their husband’s family name? That would be the normal thing to do, right?

If “normal” is mindlessly making a life decision purely based on traditional values that you neither know the root of or reasoning for, then you go girl, change that last name. However, if you like to think about your decisions before making them, then take a second to think about it. You might get a different idea by the end of this blog. Let me explain myself. Most people believe that sharing a last name symbolizes a romantic unification and commitment between the “two” people in a marriage. However, if you think about it, are the “two” of you the only people with the same last name? The last name that you took is actually your husband’s entire extensive family name. Therefore, it actually signifies that you are submitting yourself to your husband’s family. Not so romantic huh?

Let’s say you are less of a romantic and more of a logical individual. From that perspective, you might ask, “Isn’t changing your last name the easier choice? I mean that way everyone is happy, right?” No ma’am, that is completely wrong. When you change your last name, you have to change the name of everything that you have ever signed up for including your driver’s license, your diploma, your bank account, your home security provider, your internet provider, etc. It truly is a marathon. Plus, you will also lose your professional identity. This might harshly affect your career. However, you are a woman, you don’t need a career. Your husband will take care of you and occasionally take you out shopping for pretty dresses, isn’t that the good life?

Before taking your soul mate’s last name, think about what it really means. Does it really mean unity between two people? Or are you doing it because everyone else does it? Or because of the stigma that follows not taking the husband’s last name? Or are you doing it because of family pressure? None of that matters. This is your marriage, so think about yourself, and make your own decision.

If you were moved by my amazing blog and have decided to keep your last name upon marriage. This truly is extremely easy to do, believe me, I did it myself. When you go get your marriage license, the lady or gentleman at the counter will give you a piece of paper to fill out. At the blank space for your desired name, just write your original name. Finally, show your support to this post by taking a picture of your marriage license and post it in the comments.

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/mar/07/women-stop-changing-your-name-when-married

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